Inspiration
I have always believed in God, the Father, the Son, the Holy Ghost. I am not sure where these beliefs stem from because I do not recall going to much church when I was younger, I really do not remember any religion from when I was younger. It was not until May of 2008 that I realized what a profound effect God has on my life.
December 3, 1990 I gave birth to a perfectly healthy red headed princess! Kassandra is her name and it always suited her well. Kassandra Nicole Thompson – later her father added Christopherson so she had more letters in her name than in the alphabet! She is amazing…full of life – even upon her death – she brought life to so many around her.
May 3rd she was hit by a car and died instantly. Her tiny little body did not withstand the impact and her internal organs were shredded, her spinal cord separated from the brain stem and she was gone. Just like that. I was not with her - I was in bed, sleeping.
The reason I know that God played a part in this was for TWO weeks previous to this I had dreams, well…nightmares EVERY night. One of my girls, not sure which one was killed in a car accident. I could feel the sadness of loss in my dream – woke up every night in tears…I talked to the girls and told them about it. I remember talking to Kass…we were in the kitchen. She laughed at me and said nothing would happen to her and that she was always careful. She had also told me that she never felt like she had a future…she always felt like her life would be short. God was prepping me and I did not have a clue. I have problems with that because I did not spend the time I wished I would have with her but you cannot turn back time…we can only move forward.
Since her death, I have attended church and found it so difficult because I get so emotional and all I do is cry. I guess I am crying over the loss of my beautiful daughter because I miss her so much. I want to dig in the Bible like I used to and read and learn and absorb but I just cannot seem to get past her loss. I need to make time because I will see her again and I want to be prepared. God took her because he NEEDED her. Her death was life changing for many people and I cannot ignore that. God has a purpose in all things – he saved my daughter from this world we live in.
Just my thoughts…I miss you Kassandra Nicole – I will always love you, to the moon, the stars and back again! May God keep you and use you in all good things.